Fed by Birds

Current reading: Shell Life: An Introduction to the British Mollusca by Edward Step. If you want the full information about plumed slugs or hairy sea lemons, or just a picture of some whelk teeth, then this is the place to come:

Posted by at 1:24 PM | Permalink

Fans of freaky fashion film moments should watch the finale of Lovely To Look At, 1952: the Little Black Dress shows its versatility by being worn at some kind of demonic orgy. Pretty sure Alexander McQueen must have watched this film.

Posted by at 3:21 PM | Permalink

Now that you can buy garden pods in John Lewis, it's definitely the future. Some of us may have fallen behind and be living in the past with old-fashioned flowerbeds etc. In which case you need to catch up quick by updating your garden design.

I've pointed out before that you'll need an invisible shed.

Here are some other super-modern solutions to common problems.

1. Tiny plot

City gardens tend to be small, so consider extending upwards or downwards. You could try an underground lake, or planting vertically. Take a structure like this:

Plant strawberries laterally up the sides. Then slide down the chute with watering can in hand for efficient and fun irrigation.

2. Long, thin garden

Normal swimming pools simply waste space with unnecessary widths. If you're someone who only swims lengths, consider installing a Swimming Trench.

However thin your garden is, you've room for one of these. And for all weather swimming, the addition of a polytunnel over the trench will mean you can grow tomatoes along the side.

3. Shady beds

Make the most of what you've got. If a dominant tree eg a leylandii is casting a shade over your plot, just use it to your advantage to add an extra 'garden room':

4. No garden at all

Don't worry - in the future, even if you live in a tower block with no access to a lawn, you can still go camping:

Posted by at 2:30 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Never mind Easter or street parties - don't forget that April 24 is St Mark's Eve, where if you sit in the church porch from 11pm to 1am you'll get to see the rotting corpses of all the people who are going to die in the area in the coming year. Fun! Although it only works if you do it three years in a row, so you have to be pretty dedicated.

Or alternatively you can see your future husband's face in your smock. All good info!

Posted by at 4:24 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)