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At last - someone has invented a chair that mends itself. This seems to be a growing movement - this walking table, for instance, needs a bit of human assistance but has quite a dainty step. We haven't been paying attention: all the time we thought apes/lizards/Martians would take over the world, and it'll turn out to be our furniture.
Here are some sounds brought back from a misty Norfolk marsh in December. The wind in the dry reeds:
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Ducks landing splashily, with shots just audible in the distance - perhaps some less fortunate ducks about to become Christmas lunch:
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And a full-scale bird battle, with seagulls attacking ducks and getting the best of it at first, but gradually beaten back by force of numbers, with some crows calling from the sidelines - a sight so weird you might just be able to hear a whispered "Jesus" from the sound recordist:
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1,000 Postcards is a short radio piece by Rene Gutel, about how her father, a bus driver, finding his job sometimes dull, decided to write her a postcard every day while she was away at college. I like the fact that after a while the whole campus became fascinated by the postcards, and she found herself having to read that day's instalment to student after envious student. Funny and sweet.
Times are hard - these days, if you want luxury you'll have to forage for it. Fed by Birds is here to help, so we bring you cocktail recipes derived from the land. Let Ray Mears drink sap; we expect something a little more exciting from the wilderness.
Vodka and Nettle Cordial
As served by Lady Strange.
100g freshly picked nettle tips
100g freshly picked young blackcurrant leaves
1 kg granulated sugar
40g citric acid
500ml boiling water
Add the sugar, citric acid and water to a large saucepan. Heat to 60 degrees C. Add the leaves and remove immediately from heat. Cover and leave for a week, stirring daily. Strain and bottle. Keep in refrigerator.
Add vodka to taste.
Hazelnut Martini
1/2lb hazelnuts, finely chopped
1 1/2 cup vodka
1/3 cup sugar
3 tbsp. water
1 tsp. vanilla extract
Hazelnut liqueur preparation:
In a glass bottle or jar, steep the chopped hazelnuts in the vodka for about 2 weeks in a cool, dark place, gently shaking the bottle every day. Gently pour the contents through a strainer or sieve, pressing hard on the nuts to release all the flavor.
Follow this by 2 strainings through slightly dampened cheesecloth or large coffee filter; loosely cover the contents with plastic wrap, since the process may take several hours.
In a very small saucepan, combine the sugar and water. Bring to a boil over moderate-high heat. Simmer uncovered for 5 minutes. Let cool to room temperature.
Stir in the vanilla. Funnel into glass bottle. Cover tightly; shake to blend. Let mature at room temperature, or slightly cooler, for at leat 3 weeks.
For martini, combine 1/2oz hazelnut liqueur with 1oz vodka with ice in a mixing glass. Strain into chilled cocktail glass and serve.
Haw liqueur
1lb haws washed and lightly crushed
6oz caster sugar
1 1/4 pint brandy
Put the berries, sugar and the brandy into clean lidded jar. Stir well. Put on the lid.
Store in a cool place for 3 months, shaking the jar daily for the first 7 days. Strain the brandy through a brewing sieve into a jug. Do not squeeze the sieve. Pour the liqueur into a clean bottle and cork.
Elderflower Champagne
5-6 Elderfower heads
2 Lemons
8 pints boiled Water
1 1/2lb sugar
2 tbsp Cider Vinegar
Put the elderflower heads and sliced lemons in a fermentation bucket and pour on the water. Leave to soak for 24 - 36 hours. Strain through a cloth or fine sieve and add the sugar and the vinegar. Stir well until the sugar is completely dissolved. It doesn't keep much longer than 3 months.
Fern Punch
Capillaire is a syrup popular in old English drinks:
Infuse 2oz maidenhair fern in 11/2 boiling water, and 2lb of loaf sugar, which pour while boiling hot on 2oz more of the fern. In 10 hours strain clear.
For the punch:
Take 1 quart of mild ale.
1 glass of white wine.
1 glass of brandy.
1 glass of Capillaire.
1 lemon.
Mix the ale, wine, brandy and Capillaire together with the juice of the lemon and a portion of the peel pared very thin. Grate nutmeg on the top, and add a bit of toasted bread.
I've written about the 1957 BBC programme Men, Women and Clothes over at Watchification, but watching another episode, Sense and Nonsense in Fashion, I find the whole series is full of good stuff.
The sternly elegant fashion historian Doris Langley Moore is talking about irrationality in dress, but it's interesting to see that the examples she shows of shoes that look absurd to the Fifties eye - a long Twenties satin shoe, Forties platform sandal, a 1910 patent lace-up ankle boot - all look completely normal to the modern eye. I'm pretty sure you could buy each of those styles in Topshop today. "The beauty of these creations is mysterious and fleeting," expains Langley Moore - does the retro impulse mean that fashion has lost its impermanence? I can't think of a style from any past era that would look impossible today. Even the muslin-clad Regency girls in their cashmere shawls look like West London yummy mummies. You could probably get away with a bustle in the right circles.
What has changed is men's fashion. The programme reminds us that through history men also made themselves uncomfortable with ruffles, high collars or wigs, before they all started dressing like children: "It's probable that men have always been much more conscious than women of good form in their clothes."
For the record, Doris Langley Moore concludes that the only time women have dressed in a sane manner was 1919 - and the flappers getting carried away with sequins soon put paid to that.
Langley Moore was obviously a formidable character - she wrote a ballet, founded the Museum of Costume in Bath, was an expert on the life of Byron and wrote some intriguing-looking books.
If you're still struggling to decide on your goals for the New Year, Neuronarrative gives us the reassuring example of the influential psychologist William James, who was notoriously indecisive, and spent 15 years trying to choose a career, switching from science to painting, back to science, natural history, medicine etc.
His diary for the end of 1905 has a familiar look to some of us:
'October 26: "Resign!"
October 28: "Resign!!!"
November 4: "Resign?"
November 7: "Resign!"
November 8: "Don't resign"
November 9: "Resign!"
November 16: "Don't resign!"
November 23: "Resign"
December 7: "Don't resign"
December 9: "Teach here next year".'