Fed by Birds

Perhaps, like me, you often find yourself unable to concentrate on the TV because you are so distracted by the presenter's clothes. The other day I couldn't take in a word of a programme about the Domesday book, thanks to the historian's badly pre-distressed jeans. And I don't believe a news broadcast has ever been listened to properly: viewers are too busy wondering why female newsreaders like to dress as if they're on Star Trek.

I suggest we put a stop to all this with The TV Uniform, which must be worn by all presenters of non-fiction programmes. It could be as above, a loose, practical unisex jumpsuit of some description. Failing that, a pair of jumbo cords and a really boxy shirt would probably do the trick. Finally, an end to the chorus of 'What on earth is that JACKET?' that rings out across the land every time there's a weather forecast.

Posted by at 10:36 AM | Permalink

Of all the many strange things in 'Gold Diggers of 1933', this has to be the strangest. Neon violins: fine. Incongruously downbeat ending with soldiers covered in wounds: OK. But this? "Say! You know this opening number? What would really put this across would be if Ginger Rogers starts to sing We're In The Money in pig Latin. And she sorta looms up and her face gets really big and threatening? It'll slay 'em!"

Posted by at 11:17 AM | Permalink

Really enjoying poking around the British Library's UK Sound Map, where people all over the country can upload sounds from where they live. The most fascinating are the real local ones that capture an atmosphere, like the haunting Coryton oil refinery siren at Canvey Island, or the 'Time and Tide bell' on the Isle of Lewis, or 'Dunrossness Croft House Shetland speaker'. Or 'A lonely office' near Peterborough, with just the sad sounds of a solitary chair squeaking and occasional pen scribble.

(On the other hand, can I tentatively suggest that people recording their own young children in their kitchen isn't as interesting as they think it is? And I'd say they have enough trains...)

Posted by at 4:39 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

I found this book, Animal Sketches by C Lloyd Morgan, in a Norfolk bookshop. It's written for children, although Morgan seems to be a respected psychologist. It has some interesting info, eg spiders prefer the colour red and are distressed by the smell of peppermint; oysters have moustaches as well as beards. But as usual I'm looking at the pictures (by W. Monkhouse Rowe):

Who knew larks had such deadly-looking feet? Some of the illustrations are pleasantly strange:

Posted by at 11:32 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)